Pong 11 - Gamechat
Pong 11
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Pong 11: Draft
Player numbers (in order joined):
1- Nate, 2- Joe, 3- Pete, 4- Tel, 5- Zar, 6- Darren, 7- Horse, 8- Spanarkel
Player 1 Cree Cree Mapuche Mapuche Māori Māori
Player 2 Korean Korean Nubia Nubia French French
Player 3 Swedish Swedish Aztec Aztec Egyptian Egyptian
Player 4 Khmer Khmer Russian Russian Dutch Dutch
Player 5 Indian Indian Zulu Zulu Poland Poland
Player 6 Phoenician Phoenician Persia Persia Incan Incan
Player 7 Hungarian Hungarian Sumerian Sumerian Australia Australia
Player 8 English English Macedonian Macedonian Indonesia Indonesia
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Choices
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Nate - Cree
Joe - French
Pete - Egypt
Tel - Dutch
Zar - India
Darren - Phoenicia
Horse - Sumer
Spanarkel - Indonesia
Map: Seven Seas wins the vote and will be the map for Pong 11.
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Game Chat
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Session 1 Begins: Turn 1, 4000 BC
Nate
The Wild Knives are born.
1
Telrenaur
The cree are a warlike people and are not to be trusted!
The savages attacked our people on sight!
We met and expressed our interest in friendship and were presently attacked !
Joe
Nate
The Dutch make empty promises of peace but immediately come with demands, claims of rights, and threats. We are merely protecting ourselves from their poisonous words. The Cree will NOT be intimidated by warlike peoples.
Telrenaur
Lies! We offered peace and we were presented with a demand! We were told to move our watchmen or they would attack!
The Cree are a warlike people!
The Dutch will not be intimidated by demands or ultimatums made by miniature autocrats !
Joe
The Orbmother oversees the Good Vibes of the French people, and wishes nothing more than to unlock the power of love and unite all of the peoples of the world in everlasting peace.
Turn to the orbs. Believe.
Spanarkel8
The Indonesian people want it known that we could not be anymore confused by the mysterious orb loving people of France
Nate
The Cree are a soft-spoken people who dwell in the northern river valleys. A carefree people stricken with wanderlust, we adore travel and seek to be familiar with all peoples. Open your markets to us, and we shall bring treasures from afar.
The Cree are plagued with pirates from the western islands. A terrible, dark place, we hope none of you are forced to ever experience.
The Orbmother pleads with the Nether-Cree to put aside their differences and realize they are one people, and loved by the Orbs.
Darren
What a strange and magnificent place this world is. We, the water-loving Phoenicians, seek to claim what is rightfully ours - the sea. We promise friendship to those who respect our free spirit, and doom to any who would constrain us. For those agreeable to mutual benefit, we have a large surplus of cotton available to trade.
Horselover Fat
Do not be frightened of Muscle-Science, for we wish only to live in peace. Studying the ways of big gains in our high altitude training campuses, bench pressing huge texts made from stone tablets, high fives are our customary greeting. Our scholarly people adorn themselves in the traditional dress, a support belt for squating, a reminder that friends don't let friends skip leg day.
Let Muscle-Science be a friend to you, let us spot each other, we Sumerians invented numbers for counting reps, then later algebra for calculating gains. We devised engineering solutions to create intricate machine weights and the ingenious pull-up bar.
Us Muscle-scientists wish to join you as friends, as allies, as bros. Always remember, cardio kills gains.
2
Telrenaur
The Dutch have heard nothing of these muscle-scientists however are intrigued by their words.
August 3, 2019
Zar
Namaste to all from India. Originating in the high jungles, our empire initially grew in isolation. However, this peaceful lifestyle did not last long when our scouts discovered crazed foreign donkeys pulling contraptions full of muscle bound warriors.
Fearing these hardbodied brutes, we began to worship the god of war: a half man, half elephant wielding ivory swords and crushing his foes underfoot. Our rapid military deployment was enough to deter our greased and rippled neighbors, and they returned to their protein farms without a fight.
Now that security has returned to the region, our people's goals are divided. There are those who still follow the elephant god and have trained the wild beasts in the jungles as instruments of war. On the other hand, many are content to develop in isolation and reserve use of the holy pachyderms for religious and cultural purposes. Though our path is uncertain, the future looks bright for India.
Session 2 Begins: Turn 68, 320 BC
The 
rb Mother wishes all the peoples of the world a golden age of peace and prosperity.
rb Mother wishes all the peoples of the world a golden age of peace and prosperity.
NicoDemonous
Give NotYourCow a chance
Joe
Joe
Nate
The misunderstanding between the Dutch and Cree peoples ended with few deaths. A productive peace was establishing and relations between the two northern peoples have been normalized. Trade grows.
Poundmayronis is proud to know many great peoples, and as our expansive trade network extends across much of the known world, we welcome you all to the markets of Cree. Try the grilled corn. It's a simple life, but we like it just fine.
Horselover Fat
Extending high fives of peace in all directions, we Gilgafriendshipped with all of our known neighbours. Encouraging the trade of choco-protein powder across the known world. We have customers in India, Indonesia and of course among the Orb People. Now a word from our sponsor:
ARE YOU HOPING TO TRADE FOR BIG GAINS? DO YOU HAVE THE EMACIATED FRAME OF AN IMMORTAL DICTATOR NAMED GANDHI? THEN DRINK GILGA-COCO-PROTE-POWER-POWDER! YOU'LL GET RIPPED! RIPPED MUSCLES RIPPED BRAIN RIPPED BEDSHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETS!!!!!!!!!!! SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEEEEEEEENNNNNNN!!!!!!!!! GET SO RIPPED YOU CAN UNIRONICALLY SAY DO YOU EVEN LIFT BRO?
After our friendship was declared with all, Unethical Elephant Tourism took hold among our people. The muscular strength, and the keen wisdom of the elephants nature was beguiling, our people could not resist such a display of evolutionary prowess. A facial appendage used for lifting? Surely these creatures are a symbol of God. Only with the realisation that muscle science is more than muscle science, it is a way of life. Planking in meditation we contemplated the nature of the universe, how big could a muscle truly be? How tight the abs? Are the lights in the night sky muscles that are just really really really far away? Is the sun a muscle? Only muscle science can teach us the answer, through empirical evidence, it is no coincidence that big reps are the key to muscle science, the scientific method finds evidence via repetition.
4
Telrenaur
Greetings to all from the Netherlands! We are a people who wish peace and above all prosperity to everyone we meet! Following a brief skirmish with the mountainous Cree people of the Southwest we redoubled our efforts on educating our populace and shifted our military resources to putting an end to the annual barbarian raids from the far north.
Our daring explorers have recently discovered the ends of the world known as the land of India. Our advanced cartographers have reason to believe no land exists south of the mythical land of India.
In more recent news our scholars have begun work on a new premier weapon we are calling the boomstick which we hope to use against the barbarian hordes of the far north.
Our friends in Egypt have been busy spreading their good word to our people.
Dutch traders tell tales of a hapless drunk who tried to roam south of India and fell off the earth into the great abyss
August 7, 2019
Darren
The Phoenicians drunkenly bask in the glow of a golden age, having developed a wonderous concoction known as "rum" from the fermentation of our vast sugar supply. Spurred on by our inebriated stupor, we revel day after day, enjoying countless luxuries and exorbitant wealth from our booming trade network. With abundance around every corner, our people have flourished, multiplying rapidly around the inland Levantine Sea, as well as spreading eastward across the Bay of Beirut toward the Mediterranean, discovering the stunning network of hot springs we call Pamukkale along the way.
Though the masses of Phoenicia enjoy the luxuries of our sprawling civilization, a dedicated number among us partakes in abstinence, turning their energies toward great construction projects and military discipline.
1
1
August 20, 2019
Joe
Session 3 Begins: Turn 102, 820 AD
Horselover Fat
Gilgafriendship means that religion has no place in war, if you wish to be on the correct side of history, vote for increased faith military costs.
Nate
The Cree are swayed by his Swoleness and vote accordingly.
Joe
The Medieval Era saw France burning the candle at both ends, and it flew by far too quickly. The rbs descend into a dark age.
Bad Vibes flow through our chakras.
rbs descend into a dark age.
Bad Vibes flow through our chakras.Darren
Phoenician sugar production is through the roof! Our people have become wild addicts, developing a sweet tooth unseen yet in history. Spurred on by their wild sugar highs, they furiously focus on new projects. How long can this energy last before an inevitable crash ensues???
Nate
Mount Tambora erupts destroying the Cree holy places! Many die.
Nate
The Cree yearn for cows! 
Joe
Nate
Friends! Vote for the Cree! She wishes to be the trade center of the world. Join us in making the world a more profitable place.
We will vote for your religion!
Joe
The people of the rb support the Cree as trademasters.
rb support the Cree as trademasters.
They have been nothing but forthright in our trade and diplomacy
Spanarkel8
Indonesia too supports the Cree in trade
Horselover Fat
Gilgafriendship is hard to come by, if you wish to be on the correct side of history, vote for your Gilgafriend.
Joe
Is anyone actively spreading their religion?
Spanarkel8
Jong Dong remains within our lands
Nate
The Cree thank the kind peoples of the world for their trade votes.
Horselover Fat
India grows in power, I am his closest neighbour, and although we are allies, I fear for the future that fast approaches. Support Gilgafriendship, to hold back the tide of Zandhi.
Zar
India has no plans to harm our allies, and wishes only for peace and elephant tourism around the globe
Darren
We have found India to be a savvy and generous deal-maker
Joe
Nate
The eruption that killed so many.
1
Those black stains are what remains of the Cree sacred shrines, The Tamborine.
August 21, 2019
Zar
Though we fell into a normal age, the Renaissance era has been fruitful for India. We continue to worship the Great Pachyderms and our religion has spread throughout our vast empire. However, there are many foreigners who refuse to acknowledge the power of the elephant and seek to eradicate Unethical Elephant Tourism from the world. Apparently things like 'morals' and 'respect' are more important to them than witnessing these spectacular beasts. Despite their disapproval, we Indians know the true potential of our national animal and will decide the proper ways to treat them.
In fact elephants have been incorporated into every aspect of Indian society: beautiful ivory sculptures fill our museums, our traders and warriors mount them for transport, and the toughest of beasts power the sawmills of our industrial zones.
We hope for a peaceful world where all will be united under the giant flaps of elephant ears, and are actively seeking alliances with those who share our vision.
Nate
As the Renaissance Era begins, the Cree are awakening to civilization. For thousands of years the Cree wandered the northern reaches of the world, bringing trade, road, and adventure to every land and people they encountered, but as time passes, the Cree settle down. Districts appear in every corner of Cree territory as foreign inventions like writing, campuses, theaters, and art take root in society. A true Renaissance begins in Cree, and dreamers speculate that it could be the beginning of greatness in the north.
September 5, 2019
Joe
Session 4 Begins: Turn 129, 1360 AD
Nate
1480 AD
Nate
Phoenicia declares war on Indonesia and her allies in 1580 AD.
Joe
Joe
Nate
In 1665, the Egyptians declared war on India and their allies.
Joe
September 6, 2019
Darren
The lands of Phoenicia are in chaos! War rages with our once-peaceful neighbors Indonesia, who, after a strange change in personality, began to threaten our long established border. Seeing no other option but to take military action, longtime alliances and trade agreements have been upset. Our bombards and cannons rain fire upon Indonesian walls, though their sturdy construction has yet to yield.
Meanwhile mercenaries controlled by our old friends the Cree march upon Phoenicia's northern borders. In the wake of the attack, Cree leaders successfully extort our gold reserves in exchange for the peace that was once free. Are friendships worth so little?
Our people attempt to expand to more peaceful lands, but without the eyes of our once strong and organized central oversight structure, our new settlement near Indian territory immediately rebels! Has Phoenicia bitten off more than she can chew? Perhaps this is the metaphorical hangover long-due from our endless rum consumption.
1
1
Zar
India has stayed the course as one of the world's most technologically advanced and culturally influencial societies. Elephants now haul coal and barrels of oil to our industrial zones to power our cities while our architects have been hard at work designing various world Wonders.
Though we were content with peace on our Western border, the hostile Egyptians, driven mad by the success of Unethical Elephant Tourism and our prophets, decided to declare war. We watched as they murdered our defenseless apostles in cold blood and drove the rest from their lands. As proud Indians we could not let this go unpunished.
With the strength of 1000 elephant bulls our armies descended upon Egyptian cities and troops. Despite their organized formations and encampments, our tanks, cannons and naval forces quickly turned the tide in our favor. It is only a matter of time before our stampede tramples them into the dirt from which they came.
1
September 8, 2019
Horselover Fat
The athletes of Muscle Science travel from city to city via arm-curl powered locomotives (always remember cardio kills gains), handing out free textbooks designed by our top scientists, each page though wafer thin weighs 10 kilos. We construct Wats with only math and muscle, carving stones with our bare hands straight from the mountain's pecks. By spreading muscle science we realised there are muscle-brained people in all places, though undiscovered, lying in wait like a mussel in a shell, we can discover new information from their journey of self discovery.
Our research labs have discovered the blueprints of the future, one where Muscle Science lifts among the stars. Our muscle scientists have plans to construct a muscle so huge, it will bench press the Earth away forever.
While we look into the future, we cannot help but notice the terror of the present. The elephants of the hideously not-buff Gandhi, though our Ally, do not represent Muscle Science, yet they trample over the culture and people of the world. Our hearts grow heavy as we see the Egyptians on the brink of annihilation, almost too heavy to lift.
Session 5 Begins: Turn 163, 1685 AD
September 26, 2019
Joe
Session 6 Begins: Turn 165, 1695 AD
Nate
Climate change
Joe
The world should denounce India as a mass polluter. We have only one rb to live on.
rb to live on.NicoDemonous
We can attest to the smog of tanks mowing down our people
Joe
What weapon type does best at slowing down India?
Stronger ranged? Weaker armors?
The wants peace
wants peace
I haven't been actively watching!
Always so much to do
Horselover Fat
Weaker tanks I guess?
Joe
Joe
Where the heck is Ternate?
Zar
Far away from you
Nate
Extreme south.
Joe
The rbs detest war.
rbs detest war.Zar
I didn't capture anything!
Joe
Who did they capture it from?
Zar
Idk
Joe
What is even happening in this game
The rbs decline
rbs declineZar
No idea, I'm just building national parks and looking at paintings
Nate
Joe
Come on guys, seriously.
2
Nate
Cree has gone Weeaboo for India.
The gods send Cree another warning. The volcano at our Holy Site has erupted once more. Last time this happened, war broke out in the East.
Joe
Call for Aid, and the rbs will come.
rbs will come.Nate
Bad flooding in Delhi. People died.
Joe
September 27, 2019
Zar
As the ages progress the use of Indian elephants in war and industry wanes. Thus our newly appointed minister of tourism established the Great Indian national park system. Now all elephants can roam freely in the most beautiful, protected Indian lands. So far the project has been wildly successful, founding 6 new National Parks and drawing thousands of tourists from around the world.
In fact, so many foreigners have come to visit our exquisite themed museums, ski resorts, beaches and wonders that Indian cultural practices are taking hold in their home countries. We encourage all nations to embrace our culture as the worldwide standard and feel free to wear elephant-printed blue jeans.
Nate
The Cree love elephants, and we love India! We wish we could have elephants and be more Indian too. Little Cree boys make Indian tank-toys to roll-over and crush little Egyptian toys. Such fun!
1
Joe
rb Mommy grew weary of the isolation of the Middle Kingdom of France, and turned to copious amounts of wine.
In one recent binge, she shouted to anyone who would listen, "I WANT CANDY! BRING ME CANDY!" Her royal court keeping their distance during her bender, the only person in earshot was the Minister of Peace, who mistook her sweet tooth for war orders.
He arrived home months later, reporting on the successful siege of Kandy. The rb Mother's face contorted in confusion, revealing red-stained teeth. "What?"
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As the rest of the world races to the stars or rolls over their neighbors with terrible death machines, France simply exists. It is an expansive, peaceful land that draws many tourists, but not nearly as many as the distant empire of India.
France does well to keep the peace with its neighbors, freely agreeing to any territorial arrangements others see fit, maintaining alliances and trade networks with everyone they can. They sponsor projects around the world in the city states, sending envoys all over, to maintain peace and stable relations with everyone.
The French carry heavy weight at the World Congress, but still work diligently to act in accordance with the desires of all the nations of the world. They vote foremost for peace.
Session 7 Begins: Turn 189, 1815 AD
Nate
India, you have stolen my dreams.
Three levels of fun!
Nate
Join the Cree Alliance and help keep the world a peaceful utopia.
Zar
I have given you dreams of cyborg elephants
Nate
We love dem elephants!
Joe
Something terrible just happened. rbs save us!
rbs save us!
Nate
Oh no! The ELEPHANTS!
Nate
Vilnius spa and spiritual retreat is, by far, my favorite place in the world.
1
Joe
The rb Mother rejects the proposed military action against Sumeria.
The world needs peace, not more war.
rb Mother rejects the proposed military action against Sumeria.
The world needs peace, not more war.Nate
More peace!
More elephants!
Joe
Nate
Nothing matters anymore.
Telrenaur
We can revert the damage!
Nate
My people are dying, Senator.
Joe
The rb Mother is trying! We have our Industrial Zones set to recapture carbon!
rb Mother is trying! We have our Industrial Zones set to recapture carbon!Telrenaur
If we all focus on spewing as much coal out as possible the integer will go from 100 to 0!
Joe
The rb Mother believes the world should vote to make disrput rocketry attempts higher level.
We're all stuck on this rock!
rb Mother believes the world should vote to make disrput rocketry attempts higher level.
We're all stuck on this rock!Telrenaur
After centuries of rebellion teh city of Groningen returns to the Dutch empire!
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